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What Not To Crochet: Crimson Crochet Christmas Capris

You may be asking yourself, “Crocheted Capris? Not possible.  What does she really mean?”   Yes, I mean crocheted capris.  Pants that are entirely crocheted. Crochetwear that has been transformed into pants.  Before you see the picture, let me describe this project to you in adjectives: acrylic, tight, bumpy…disastrous.  They are surprisingly warm, though.  It’s like wearing a sweater on your legs.

I can only justify my (hideous) crochet work by saying it was not my idea.  The inspiration came from the 2004 premier issue of Knit 1 so if anyone’s to blame, it’s them.  Here’s the picture that started it all:

Although these pants never made a public appearance until this year, I crocheted them a few years ago so (fortunately) I don’t remember my original fascination.  I don’t know what it could have been that, upon seeing the picture, drove me to adapt the knitting pattern and make my own version of crocheted maroon gauchos.   Even saying that gives me chills.  But alas, I did.

My crocheted red pants remained tucked away in the bottom drawer of my dresser, a forgotten memory of a crochet project gone awry.  It was too hideous to display, yet too good to throw away.  Nothing could make me share my pants with the world and endure the inevitable ridicule and laughs of critics.  Nothing, except, for the Okie Pi Christmas Party of 2010.

Every year, two fraternities at my school put on a Christmas party filled with gingerbread decorating, ornament painting, pictures with Santa, Christmas caroling, and of course: the wearing of ugly Christmas sweaters.  As the Sweetheart of one of the fraternities (see: crocheted Omicron Xi sweater), I took it upon myself to be extra-festive.  And what’s more festive than crocheted red pants to celebrate Christmas?  I submit to you: nothing.  Actually, probably plenty.

But enough background story.  In the spirit of transparency, I’ll swallow my pride and let you be the judge: